Tito, past me some issue!
Past issues of Zamblings appear below. I enthusiastically encourage you to share this content with your fellow madmen, especially those who hold positions of power at major publishing houses. However, I respectfully request -- at gunpoint -- that you not publish or otherwise profit from the copyrighted material.
To sign up for the free Zamogram newsletter or inquire about purchasing Zamblings for reprint publication, please visit the contact page. I love you.
Sorry I just blurted that out. It's too soon, isn't it?

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Band of Rubberz (September 2010) Wrist watch. |
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Blood Doh! Nation August 2010 To the bloodmobile! |
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The Debatably Old Man and the Sea (July 2010) "We still feel that elation when the water takes us home." |
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The Graduate (June 2010) Done, done, on to the next one. |
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Pickup Lines (May 2010) Do you come to this carpool lane often? |
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Starbucked (April 2010) Hello, my name is Bill Z., and I want/don't want you to pour me some coffee. |
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Zambling Bling (Part Two) (March 2010) ... One Ring bought at the mall when careless schmucks can't find them. |
| Zambling Bling (Part One) (February 2010) One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to bind them ... |
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Airing My Grievances (Part Two) (January 2010) Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother****ing fees on this mother****ing plane! |
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Airing My Grievances (Part One) (December 2009) I just flew in from Hartford, and boy, are my arms tired...from angry typing. |
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How to Win Friends and Influenza People (November 2009) My dirtiest story yet. |
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Costumed Heroes (October 2009) What are you going to be for Halloween? |
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Alphamedical (September 2009) From A to Z for Mom Z. |
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Levi Stress (August 2009) I’ve got the 501 or 505 or 560 or 569 yet-to-be-determined shade of blues. |
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The Feel-Good Hit of the Summer (July 2009) In a world...where people won't shut up in movie theaters...a toddler finally earns his ticket stub. |
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The Joy of Having Cooked (June 2009) A crisp culinary story that's raw in the middle. |
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A Tale of Two Disneys (May 2009) What will you celebrate? |
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Bill Zam is promoting his Facebook article. (April 2009) What's on your demented mind? |
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Holy Grayal! (March 2009) It looks so natural, no one can tell...unless I publish an article on the World Wide Web about it. |
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Fantasy Fantasy Football (February 2009) Helping you play-fake your way through fantasy football season. |
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Vitreous Humor (January 2009) I'm feeling j-ocular. |
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Out of My Tree (December 2008) They're fake -- and they're spectacular. |
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A Moving Story, Part Five: The Moving Part (November 2008) Maybe I should have just written a book. |
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A Moving Story, Part Four: A Part Meant for Apartments (October 2008) There's a place for us...somewhere a place for us. |
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A Moving Story, Part Three: Mortgouge (September 2008) To buy or not to buy: that is the overused play on words I was required by law to use in this teaser. |
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A Moving Story, Part Two: Chez Zam! (August 2008) "Holy moley!!! My house sold like a bolt of lightning!" marveled Billy. |
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A Moving Story, Part One: Tag Team (July 2008) One man's trash is another man's treasure. And there's a 75 percent chance that other man has no teeth. |
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Won't Get Fueled Again (June 2008) Combating the effects of gas bloating. |
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The TomTom Club (May 2008) I finally have some direction in life. |
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Java Nagila (April 2008) Rejoice! There is coffee! |
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Zammy Played Guitar (March 2008) You can't kill the metal. |
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Making HistoWii (February 2008) You can't spell William without Wii. |
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I and I and I (January 2008) I'd rather be in the Caribbean. |
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Zamogram (December 2007) Wham bam, Zam spam. |
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No Thanks to You (November 2007) When it comes to sending thank you cards, Bill Zam is correspon-dense. |
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The Departied (October 2007) Zamityville Horror! For Halloween this year, I'll be wearing a long face. |
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Comedy With a Hook (September 2007) Did you hear the one about the guy who missed the golf tournament with Writer's Elbow? |
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the bill of lefts (august 2007) the spring fall that threatened summer. |
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Many Will Enter, Few Will Win (July 2007) Like Thunderdome, but with a lot more people. |
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Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself (and Possibly Botulism) (June 2007 - Part 3 of 3) Trivia Question 3: "What did you eat for breakfast?" |
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Trivial Pursuits (May 2007 - Part 2 of 3) Trivia Question 2: "What did your bag look like?" |
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Pop Secret! (April 2007 - Part 1 of 3) Trivia Question 1: "In 2007, what trio toured under the name 'Solid Gold Answers?'" |
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The Paint is Where It Ain't (March 2007) My brush with agony. |
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Global Trodden (February 2007) It's not the heat...it's the stupidity. |
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To-Oh-Oh-Seven (January 2007) Bond voyage. |
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dot.comical (December 2006) Only a few shopping days left until Christmas, and Bill Zam is on line. |
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Football Season, Part 2 (November 2006) Youth soccer is a trip (pun intended). |
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Football Season (October 2006) Is football in America 'no good'? |
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I Went to the Animal Fair (September 2006) This column is going to the dogs. |
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Land of the Lost (August 2006) If you thought my moral compass was bad, you should try driving with me. |
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Give Blood, Sucker! (July 2006) Needling the needle-haters. |
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DIPLOMA - DO NOT BEND (June 2006) Graduation rumination. |
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Spoilers are for Sports Cars (May 2006) I see dead people...who were killed because they ruined the movie. |
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High-Speed Online Connection (April 2006) Come on over to myspace. Which may or may not be a prison cell. |
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Heir Jordan (March 2006) Just after midnight, the son rose. |
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The Vomiting (February 2006) Ankle-deep in the joys of pregnancy. |
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New Year's Reso-lose-shuns (January 2006) Diet tips for idiots, by idiots. |
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Extremely Sporting (December 2005) Son + Santa + Snowboard = Splenectomy? |
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There Go the Spiders, Man (November 2005) Arachnophonia...courtesy of your friendly neighborhood Spider-Zam. |
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Hallow Can You Go? (October 2005) I ain't afraid o' no commercialization. |
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do yogu avre day (September 2005) When it comes to office space pain, Bill Lumbergh doesn't compare to Bill's lumbar. |
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2-for-2-year-old (August 2005) This birthday party already had a paid clown, but I showed up anyway. |
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My Wife's Two Kids (July 2005) A raisin' of the son. |
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Genghis the Garden Weasel (June 2005) Big Bad Bill is Sweet William now. |

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